Then it hit me...I'm depressed...again

I've just been going about living my daily life.  Dealing with struggles every single day trying to make it through day by day.  Everyday seems to be a little more of a struggle than the last, but life's tough.  That's what they say, right?

My house is a mess.  I've been sleeping way more than I usually do.  But I haven't been feeling the greatest either.  I'm so far behind on laundry, it's going to take me days to get caught up.  At least it's just last night's dishes I need to get caught up on.  The rooms in my house are trashed.  Why am I struggling so hard to clean this up?

Why am I sleeping so much?  Is it because I'm not feeling well?  Is it because my mind is racing constantly?  I'm beating myself up over this, but I can't physically bring myself to clean it up.  I stare at it daily, and I WANT to clean it, but my body is like paralyzed.  And if you've never experienced this, I'm so incredibly jealous of you!

Yesterday, it hit me.  My depression is out of control again.  It dawned on me when I thought about crafting and realized that I genuinely didn't even want to anymore.  I love my Cricut, but I have no desire to get it out and use it.  It's Christmas season coming up.  This is where I could make a few dollars!  I already have all the stuff I need to make some stuff.  I already have all of the templates and stuff made up in my Design Space.  But the thought of physically making the products is intimidating to me for some reason.  Why?  I know how to use my Cricut.  I've done this a thousand times.  But today, in this moment, the thought of using it overwhelms me completely.  

I no longer enjoy doing the things I once did.  And it breaks my heart.  I'm at a loss.  Looks like I'll be reaching out to my doctor again.  

All of that to say, pay attention to your body.  I've been doing this merry go round for more years than I'd like to admit.  Even I still don't pick up on the signs.  They're so easy to miss.  You don't realize it until you have so many symptoms.  Then one day, it hits you like a brick wall...and all of the pieces fit together perfectly.  You're depressed again.

Stay well friends.  Most importantly, be kind to your mind.  You're awesome.